Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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