my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
