Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
