I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
