look no pants
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
