at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
zippers are such a cool invention
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
