the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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