dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
