There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
