Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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