In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
