Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
