Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
