cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
