she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
