So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
