What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
