I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
