He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
