That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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