i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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