Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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