I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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