I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
