Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
