just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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