I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize