I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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