He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
