We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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