kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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