I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
