I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Less talking, more tequila
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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