Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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