I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I need moral support for this bender
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
