I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
