? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
