Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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