you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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