Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize