That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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