I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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