My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
