I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
