That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
