I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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