My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
