it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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