We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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