those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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